This week’s question from my copywriter coaching group comes from Anonymous.
Question:
I have three recurring problems that won’t go away. I’ve been dealing with them for SO long, and I’m tired of them. These are: 1) money issues with my spouse (we’re constantly arguing about me not contributing enough income to our household through my copywriting), 2) using food as comfort instead of physical sustenance, and 3) having my energy constantly drained because I’m over-helping and over-attending to the needs of other people, things, or even pets—while neglecting my own needs.
I know these problems are getting in the way of me growing my copywriting business. I’m ready for some new challenges. How can I finally solve these and be done with them?
Michelle’s Answer:
This is a common issue not only for copywriters—but for humans in general!
Here’s something I learned from a mentor: whenever we have recurring problems in our life, it’s because on some level, we want them there.
We may not consciously be aware that we want these problems. But subconsciously, we’re drawing them in and keeping them “locked” in place, because we get some of benefit out of them. They’re serving us in some way.
What is the hidden benefit?
Recurring problems are safe, familiar, and weirdly cozy. They’re annoying, but they also distract and protect you from other, unknown problems that you have yet to face.
Because if you solved your current set of problems, your life would change—and then you’d have a NEW, DIFFERENT set of problems, which you’re afraid of facing.
By holding onto your current problems, you’re preemptively protecting yourself from the unknown.
If you really want to change it, the first step is to take ownership and responsibility for what you’re creating, tolerating, or allowing in your life. You may not be responsible for creating the problem, but you’re responsible for tolerating its continued existence. Own and admit that on some level, you’re choosing to keep this in your life.
Write down this statement: “I want my problems. That’s why I’m still holding onto them.”
Ask yourself: “What am I afraid will happen once I remove this problem?”
Writing Exercise for Your Morning Reflection Process
I recommend journaling early in the morning after you wake up and your brain is fresh. Write down 1-2 problems you keep experiencing that won’t go away (e.g., something you’re annoyed by and can’t figure out how to solve it).
Ask yourself:
- Why am I still tolerating this problem?
- Why do I secretly want it in my life? (What’s the deeper, hidden reason?)
- What is it protecting me from?
- What is it distracting me from?
- Is it that my problem can truly NEVER be solved—or is it that I’m choosing not to solve it, because I benefit from keeping it?
- Who would I be without this recurring problem?
Care to share any eye-opening aha’s? Email your answers to me at michelle@antimarketingmanifesto.com or DM me on Instagram @antimarketingmanifesto.
Michelle
P.S. Are you an aspiring copywriter who is ready to land bigger, better, higher paying clients? If so, email me to inquire about my 90-day coaching program: “Land Your First Dream Copywriting Client.”
Or get started with my FREE gift for copywriters here.
Michelle Lopez Boggs is a copywriter, copywriting mentor, and author of "The Anti-Marketing Manifesto: How to Sell Without Being a Sellout." She's helped her clients sell millions of dollars' worth of products and services online by using the MEI(S) principle — motivate, educate, and inspire, and sell. 