A Low Value Conversation (LVC) is one that has little or no value. At best, it’s small talk or chit chat. In its worst form, it can create or reinforce negative ideas in the minds of those participating in the conversation.
LVCs are dysfunctional on some level, because they revolve around a dysfunctional belief or idea.
Some examples of dysfunctional ideas may include:
- “I’m not worthy and I have to prove myself”… which then drives a person to constantly attract conversations where they feel like they have to prove their value to another person (instead of simply KNOWING their value and living it out)
- “I need to always be right, or people will think I’m stupid”… which then drives a person to constantly attract conversations where they feel like they have to argue a point with another person (instead of having the freedom to allow others to think whatever they want)
- “I’m not safe”… which then drives a person to constantly attract conversations in which they feel like they have to defend themselves against criticism, judgments, attacks, or disapproval (instead of simply exiting the conversation and allowing negative energy to return to its source)
LVCs require a huge amount of energy to be involved in — and this energy is usually better invested elsewhere.
Nothing good or productive ever comes from an LVC. Period.
LVCs are a waste of time and serve as a distraction from doing your important work.
LVCs can take many shapes and forms, including:
- Arguing over who’s right
- Defending oneself against criticism
- Trying too hard to get someone to understand a particular point of view
- “Debating”
- Talking about future activities instead of actually doing them
- Complaining about something with no real intention to change it
- Sharing details about “bad news” of any kind
- Commiserating over how unfair something is
- Any form of bitching, whining, or shirking responsibility for one’s own outcomes
- Scoffing, scolding, or “shaking my head” (smh)
- Gossiping about someone else’s decision
- Being enraged by political matters, while avoiding one’s own work
A simple litmus test to discern the value of any conversation is to ask, “Does this conversation give me freedom? Or does it feel constricting?” “Does this give me MORE energy? Or does it drain my energy?” “Does this help me move forward? Or does it keep me stuck?”
The best way to handle an LVC is to avoid getting into it in the first place.
If you do happen to get caught up in an LVC, simply exit it as soon as you realize you’re in it. No explanation required.
One of my Anti-Marketing principles is, “Refuse to engage in low value conversations.” Protect your mind, your energy, and your space by making the decision that you don’t participate in LVCs — i.e., any conversation that doesn’t move the participants forward.
(Even your customer service department can adopt this philosophy by refusing to enable victim-minded customers! Simply delete the repeat offenders from your database and reserve your time for serving forward-thinking customers.)
The fewer LVCs you’re engaged in, the more easily you can focus on doing valuable (i.e., income-generating) work.
When the mind is free from dysfunctional conversations, it can think more clearly as well. You create that “clear thinking” environment simply by choosing not to expose yourself to LVCs in the first place. (Getting the hell off Facebook is a great first start.)
Michelle Lopez Boggs is a copywriter, copywriting mentor, and author of "The Anti-Marketing Manifesto: How to Sell Without Being a Sellout." She's helped her clients sell millions of dollars' worth of products and services online by using the MEI(S) principle — motivate, educate, and inspire, and sell. 