Looking over lists of goals I created months — or even years ago — I see that some of them have been created, but some of them have not.
“Customize my car. Get a new apartment. Meet the man of my dreams, have a healthy relationship.”
All of the above goals, I attained.
But some of my goals, I have not yet attained and they’ve been sitting on my list for quite a long time.
“I need to finish my book.”
“I need to finish my music album.”
I’ve been saying these, and similar statements for years. I say them with the same level of casualness as I would say, “I need to take a shower,” or “I need to wash my car.” The urgency seems to be increased — like MY BOOK NEEDS TO GET OUT THERE.
Showers happen daily. Car washes happen every couple of weeks or so. But my future book and music album? They’ve never been finished, as of now.
What’s the deal with this phrase, “I need”? The phrase is actually a command to keep the “need” firmly in place. If I’ve finished writing my book, then I no longer “need” to finish it — it’s already done. The “need” is gone.
But if I keep saying “I need to finish my book” repeatedly over and over again, that statement practically guarantees that it will never be finished.
From an energetic standpoint, “need” comes from a place of getting. When you think you need something, you’re always trying to get it. That’s the opposite of giving.
Since one of the laws of the universe is you have to give in order to get, we are going against ourselves every time we utter the phrase, “I need this or that…”
By needing something, you’re declaring that you don’t have it.
Like clockwork, the thing apparently needed stays far away from us. It eludes us. Little do we know our thoughts and words are keeping the thing away from us.
I could easily start the next paragraph with, “What we need to do to remedy the situation is…” But as you can see, simply using the word “need” would set us off in the wrong direction.
We don’t need anything. We already have everything. Everything that ever existed in the universe — and everything that will exist in the future — is already available to us right now. (Including plenty of online sales for your biz.)
As we become more aware of how we’re using language to command events to happen in our life, we’ll be able to fine-tune what we actually produce.
(It’s similar to a dancer become more aware of different movements of the body, and being able to produce a more precise performance in their dancing…versus someone whose arms are flailing all over the place with no cohesiveness or intention.)
For example, think of someone who’s struggled with debt. They’re looking over their finances. They see a lifelong pattern of having been in debt. That person might say, “I need to stop owing so many people.” “I need to stop shuffling balances around and get these damn debts paid off.” But such statements declare that “the need to get out of debt” will remain firmly in place. It declares that that person will stay in debt.
The remedy is to change your thinking — start focusing on the fact that your desired outcome is already here now. Gratitude will speed up the process of experiencing your desired outcome. “Thank you for my debts being dissolved.” “Thank you for my music album being finished and produced!” “Thank you for my book being completed.” That’s it. It’s so simple. “Thank you for $10,000 coming into my bank account.”
Get rid of all thoughts of “I need” or “We need,” and be thankful for the desired outcome already being in your life right now.
For the next thirty days, I challenge you to pay close attention to your use of the word “need.”
Notice when you’re subconsciously using it towards a situation that hasn’t come into fruition yet. Notice how the word keeps THE DESIRED OUTCOME far away from you. Notice how it encourages lack thinking, procrastination, delay, and other negative behaviors that contribute to keeping the “need” firmly in place.
Most of us have been conditioned to think, and view life in terms of “I need.” It’s ingrained deep into our thinking. But simple awareness will begin to loosen it up, so it no longer has such a firm grip over you.
Switch your sentence structure to declare that you’re already receiving, doing, or experiencing the thing desired. “I need to do X,” becomes “I’m doing X” (or better yet, not saying anything at all and just doing it).
“I need $10,000” becomes, “I’m receiving $10,000.” This slight but powerful shift in language will change everything.
Michelle Lopez
www.AntiMarketingManifesto.com
P.S. For weeks, I had gotten off track with my dancing. I kept saying, “I need to dance.” And for weeks, it never happened. I just couldn’t get myself to do it. Finally I stopped using the phrase “I need,” and just turned on the music and started dancing. I danced for almost two hours, practicing a specific choreography that I had wanted to master… and I’m happy with the outcome (see vid below!).
Oh yeah, and below is the ORIGINAL version that I learned off of (for comparison) – from the amazing choreographer Phil Wright!
Michelle Lopez Boggs is a copywriter, copywriting mentor, and author of "The Anti-Marketing Manifesto: How to Sell Without Being a Sellout." She's helped her clients sell millions of dollars' worth of products and services online by using the MEI(S) principle — motivate, educate, and inspire, and sell. 