“When you make a failure, it is because you have not asked for enough; keep on, and a larger thing then you were seeking will certainty come to you.” – Wallace Wattles
When someone rejects you in any way, do you feel devastated? Do you feel upset? Does it feel like you failed? Are you attached to getting them to change their mind?
Fact is, rejection happens all the time in nature…and it’s not a bad thing. A bee flies past a flower without stopping to pollinate it. A dog sniffs at a potential piece of food and avoids eating it. A baby pushes a toy away, because she doesn’t want to play with it right now.
These are all forms of rejection.
Rejection is a normal, natural part of life. It happens constantly. It’s part of how living creatures make decisions for themselves.
And yet for some reason, humans — including conscious, evolved business owners — have a really tough time with rejection!…so tough a time, that they come up with all sorts of creative ways to avoid asking for what they want.
What is rejection, exactly? Let’s break it down to its bare bones: rejection is when someone says no to your offer. Or they say nothing at all when you’d prefer them to respond.
The only way rejection “hurts” is if you insert untrue meanings about it.
Is the word “no” something to be devastated about? If someone says “No thanks,” should that prompt you to feel terrible about yourself? I don’t think so.
In order for humans to feel sane, we HAVE to reject a lot of things on a daily basis. That’s just a requirement for life. Something so natural to life cannot be bad.
And if you believe in freedom, then you should celebrate when someone says “no” to you (and vice versa) — because it means someone is simply exercising their freedom to choose.
Think about how many times you say no on a daily basis. Do you buy everything presented to you in every single ad and marketing message that comes your way? No, of course not. Do you say yes to every single request that is made of you? No, of course not — you’d make yourself ill.
You are constantly saying “No” to things you don’t want, or things that don’t interest you.
Part of what’s so exciting about working in our own business is that we get to evolve every single day. We get to grow and stretch ourselves psychologically, emotionally, and financially…in ways that typical corporate employees don’t get to do.
Part of this evolution involves learning how to be completely unfazed by rejection.
How many people do you ask each day to buy your product?
The answer to this question shows you how comfortable (or uncomfortable) you currently are with rejection.
Out of all the people you ask each day, how many of them say yes?
The answer to THIS question shows you how skilled you are at asking for the sale, and asking the right people.
Good salespeople know how to ask well. Good salespeople ask for the sale constantly, regardless of the risk of rejection.
As children, most of us were punished for asking for what we wanted.
So it makes sense that we might avoid asking people to buy our product.
The sooner you get over your fear of rejection, the sooner you can start selling more products!
Talk soon,
Michelle
Anti Marketing Manifesto
Michelle Lopez Boggs is a copywriter, copywriting mentor, and author of "The Anti-Marketing Manifesto: How to Sell Without Being a Sellout." She's helped her clients sell millions of dollars' worth of products and services online by using the MEI(S) principle — motivate, educate, and inspire, and sell. 