For years, this was a constant theme in my life:
Allowing myself to think about people who don’t belong in my mental space.
Recently while talking with other business owners, I could see that many of them struggle with this same challenge: they find themselves constantly thinking about people who “take away” from their happiness in some way.
(Anyone who takes away from your happiness doesn’t belong in your mental space. Period.)
You’re sitting there trying to work on building your business…and thoughts of someone else creep into your mind.
Maybe that person disagrees with what you’re doing. Maybe you disagree with what they’re doing. Maybe they’re trying to engage with you. Or maybe you’re just spying on them on social media.
Either way, you find yourself expending energy thinking about them, trying to ignore them, warding them off, or “dealing with” them in some other way.
Meanwhile, your business isn’t growing — at least not at the level or pace at which you’d like it to grow.
Whatever the situation is, it helps to step back and ask: “Why am I choosing to have this person in my life?”
It’s a pretty amazing question…because it shifts responsibility back to YOU!
Even if you’re just thinking about them (not outright interacting with them), you’re ultimately the one who is choosing to allow that person into your mental space. Why are you choosing to do so?
Sources of wisdom urge us to guard our thoughts…and to mentally prune our “gardens” so that the weeds can’t creep up and choke out the productive, desirable thoughts and actions.
“Dealing with” people who aren’t for us becomes the perfect excuse NOT to move forward in our own lives.
Why do we feel the need to deal with them at all? Or even think about them?
Because at some level, keeping them in our life protects us from actually bringing in the people we desire!
A simple way to shift this is to start focusing on who you want to ADD to your life.
Who do you want to bring into your world?
Do you want to add a long list of perfect fit customers? If so, start dreaming and thinking about them. What do they look like? How do they act? How does it feel to serve them? What will it be like to have them buying your products over and over again?
(Simply focusing on them is enough to start drawing them in.)
Do you want to add a few high-paying clients who bring joy and simplicity to your life (rather than complexity and chaos)?
If so, make the mental space for them, so they can show up.
As you grow, you’ll find yourself naturally reevaluating certain relationships in your life.
Not everybody is interested in growing. Most people would prefer to stay exactly where they are — complaining about the same things, experiencing the same struggles, and allowing the same excuses to keep them where they are.
If your priority is growth, you might find yourself no longer resonating with people who want to stay the same.
And that’s OK.
But realize it might be in your best interests to stop thinking about them altogether.
If you continue surrounding yourself with people who want to stay exactly where they are… you risk subconsciously taking on their agenda without even realizing it.
And that’s detrimental to your happiness and your growth.
So guard your thoughts. Guard your mental space.
It’s your mind. Take ownership of it.
You get to decide what (and who) you focus on. You get to decide which types of people you want to bring into your experience. We have that power.
Talk soon,
Michelle
AntiMarketingManifesto.com
P.S. Check out this advanced hip hop dance choreo that I’m currently learning! (see vid below) We got about halfway through it, in 1.5 hours! (That’s the result of me refusing to think about “the wrong people” and instead — pouring energy into mastering the dance routines I want to learn. Fun way to live!) Song is “No Problem” by Lil Scrappy. Choreo by Tricia Miranda.
Michelle Lopez Boggs is a copywriter, copywriting mentor, and author of "The Anti-Marketing Manifesto: How to Sell Without Being a Sellout." She's helped her clients sell millions of dollars' worth of products and services online by using the MEI(S) principle — motivate, educate, and inspire, and sell. 